The Problem With Bret Stephens

Bret Stephens is highly regarded in certain liberal and neoconservative circles as a witty contrarian and insightful political analyst, so much so that he’s even won a Pulitzer Prize for his works in The Wall Street Journal. The fact that such a disgusting excuse for a human being has garnered the lavish praise which so many seem keen to heap upon him is a testament to the depths to which the “conservatives” of modern America have fallen. Of course, Stephens isn’t really a conservative; like most whole call themselves as such he conserves nothing (certainly not the lives of the Iraqis who he cheered on to be bombed).

In point of fact he recently wrote that he’d like to replace a great swath of American citizens with foreigners. They would do more for the country than us foolish and ignorant hill-jacks who’ve built up multi-generational connections to this land, according to the columnist – especially if we happened to be irreligious as Stephens notes that one of the main problems in America is that too many people don’t believe in God.

Doubtless, he is one of those crudely cultivated Christians who believes, foolishly, that one cannot be “good without God.” How thinks that the irreligious are just too stupid, too arrogant and too blindly naive to do anything even faintly resembling worth. All who doubt the dubious proposition of a grand and omnipotent creator are clearly insufficiently equipped, not only to understand Stephens numinous ways, but also, in his opinion, to provide their country with boons of any kind. The irreligious, empiricist police officer who has saved countless lives from scum and villainy: fuck him – deport his insufficiently zealous hide to Africa. Whatever that is, it isn’t American.

From his column, Only Mass Deportations Can Save America it is clear he’d just love to deport all atheists, all agnostics – what then of the Buddhists? Or of those other ancient traditions which had oft been called “religion” but which do not subscribe to a deity? Mr. Stephens, rather characteristically doesn’t give us the answer because he hasn’t thought it through and doesn’t seem particularly interested in figuring it out – he’s far too intelligent, his time far too valuable for such petty action.

One might also take some time to consider how conservative it is of Mr. Stephens to wish to empty the country of its entire native population and fill it with third worlders! (That’s sarcasm by the way, something Stephens has no measured understanding of, despite all his clamoring to the contrary). When numerous media personalities, such as FOX News‘ Tucker Carlson, took sharp aim at the NYT columnist for penning such a disgusting commentary the worm instantly turned – “I’m only joking! Sheesh, can’t you take a joke? How dishonest can you be!”

If he meant it as jest it was certainly very difficult to tell as there was no whiff of comedy to the piece entire. Stepehens is certainly an above-average writer, that much is incontestable (he’s a fair knack for clipped and hyperbolically scathing rebuttals) but Doug Stanhope he is not. He’s not, actually, a great deal of things. Not a conservative, not funny, not as clever as he thinks he is, not able to withstand criticism in the faintest. In fact he is so thin-skinned that he permanently quit using the social media platform Twitter because, in his words, it had “pornified politics!” Twitter, in Stephens eyes, appealed only to the basest of creatures, it was a medium only for the most “reptilian brained,” not for the high-and-lofty-minded-being of pure, unadulterated, cultured-intellect such as he! Certainly not. He’s far above such plebian interactions because he’s better than you and he knows it. The only problem is that I certainly don’t know it and I’m a damned sight sure you won’t either if you read his languorous, war-mongering, self-congratulatory and imminently condescending scream-sheets.

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